March 15, 2010

Our next Critique Volunteer is Undercoverst

Good Morning Everyone!


It's Zero-Dark-Thirty in the morning and I am sipping a nice wake-up cup of coffee and talking with you.  Are you ready to help our next follower?  This week's submission is from Undercoverst.  She would like this journal reviewed.  Meet "Harold"

She asked: "What I would love some feedback on is, what questions am I not answering with this? What would hold you back from buying? How's my description?"  Feel free to browse around her shop and if you see something that she might need to tweek I am sure she'd appreciate that, too!

When you are looking at the description, imagine yourself discussing "Harold" over the phone.  Is she answering all the questions that you might have about this journal/sketchbook? 

Don't forget to leave a comment!!!!



9 comments:

  1. Sarah, I see two things that you might want to do. Your photography is really awesome but there isn't a shot that shows the true dimension of the journal.. there's no size reference shot.

    And... why don't you have your state in your location? You need to put that for those who want things from your area and from California. :-)

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  2. Thank you Karen! I haven't figured out how to show the size. Pen maybe? hmmmm.

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  3. We're practically neighbors! I'm in San Mateo :)

    I agree with adding an image that shows the size relative to other things. You could do a photo of the journal at a coffee shop in use by someone, since you made a coffee shop reference in your description.

    I would move the note about recycled and upcycled materials closer to the top of the description. It's something people now-a-days are really focused on. You could even leave your current note regarding it where it is but put a quick line in with the bulleted features such as "* 60% recycled or upcycled materials used" That way people's attention can be grabbed right off the bat and they don't have to read to the bottom of the description to be interested by that fact or have that question answered.

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  4. A few picky little points:
    • For your International buyers, show dimensions in metric too
    • Also show the overall thickness of the book
    • If all the dimensions are shown, I don't find it needs a visual size reference too, but if you want one, maybe show this compact book slipped halfway into a jacket pocket?
    • I can't tell from the excellent pics, so state if the book opens flat
    • Third sentence of the paragraph after the bullet points "I much more manly journal..." Should the first word be "A"?
    • Perhaps put all materials in the description together? "Made with print from a vintage magazine and cool blue trim from the same" AND "Made from a recycled cracker box and covered with vintage magazine paper" is tautologous, and could be a little confusingly contradictory too.

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  5. Tautologous? Now that's a 50 cent word!

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  6. Hello Karen!
    i feed your fish and i read your blog i think, i smile and i laugh this is so great.Thank you.LAZO

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  7. As a suggestion for the size issue... a pen and a ruler in one of the shots would do it. Other than that, I can't think of a single question to ask about this that you haven't already succinctly answered!

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  8. I love the suggestions! In a jacket pocket is great!
    Coffee shop is great.
    Adding the recycled materials info higher up is great too!
    Now I just have to make the changes :P

    Thank you!!!

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  9. Hi

    Undercoverst, you have a beautiful shop. I would think coffee shop picture would make the book very attractive.

    You can also mention recycle in the tags!

    Lots of people (me too) love recycle art work.

    Good luck

    Gizecraft :0)

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Your opinion is welcomed but please remember to be respectful :-)